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About Deviant Senior Member TanyaFemale/United Kingdom Groups :iconvanitytheory: VanityTheory
female self-portrait photography
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Deviant for 9 Years
Premium Member 'til Hell freezes over
Statistics 1,439 Deviations 59,147 Comments 667,525 Pageviews

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I feel like I should say something here because I'm hardly ever on dA these days and I don't want to be one of those people who just vanishes without a word. I'm not like OMGLEAVINGFOREVER or anything that dramatic. It's just that other things in my life take up more time and energy so I haven't found myself frequenting these parts so much. I've been on dA for over 9 years and have gone through periods of spending hours every day here and periods of not being here at all. It's just the way things go for me.

I've added a list of links to all the other places me and my work can be found online in my deviantID, so if you'd like to keep in touch those are good places to start. I don't post my personal Facebook anywhere ever and all the stuff I have listed as photography links are specifically photography-related and not really social. My personal Twitter or Tumblr, or Instagram, are good places to find me-being-me, albeit under a different name.

As for my activity on dA, I've disabled everything in my message centre except for the things that can't be disabled. I'm in the process of arranging to hand the groups I admin over to other people. I may still post photography or writing here from time to time, but probably not that much to be honest. I've left my gallery, journal and prints all as they are cause I have no reason to delete or remove anything at this point. If you really want to get hold of me via dA and don't have any other way to contact me, send a note but don't expect a timely reply. My stock account still exists, although I pretty much never log in to it.

As far as life-stuff goes, things are pretty interesting at the moment and are definitely keeping me busy. My husband and I are running an IT business, I'm managing social media and online presence for a local art performance charity and as of February 2015 I'll be working towards a BSc (Hons) in Forensic Psychology. I still take photos, although my health mostly prevents the kind of shoots I used to do, and I still write. I can't imagine that I'll ever stop doing these things.

Much love to everyone on dA who has inspired me, supported me and encouraged me. There will always be a special place in my heart for this site and the people who have made it what it is over the years. It is a truly unique community and an amazing resource. If you have just found your way here, I hope you find what you're looking for.

Don't be a stranger.

:heart:
There will be times when you tell yourself that your tears belong to a film, that a talented director reached behind your eyes and pulled sadness through them. You are only sad because people on a screen are sad and a script writer has enticed you into their world and you have lived as part of it for a little while.

There will be times when you tell yourself that your tears belong to a book, to the last five pages when the character you have fallen in love with finally dies after telling their life story with words that will haunt you and speak through you when you next try to write. You are only sad because you have fallen into someone else’s mind and they have written sad words about sad things.

There will be times when you tell yourself that your tears belong to a television show, that an actor looked into a camera with such expressive eyes that you felt something reach out and tug at your soul for a moment. You are only sad because you have watched another person pretending to be sad and you are allowing yourself to be emotionally manipulated as part of an immersive experience.

There will be times when you tell yourself that your tears belong to a song, that minor keys and mournful voices are calculated to have precisely this effect. You are only sad because a mathematical formula wrapped in musical notes has been designed to carry sadness to you and deliver it in a perfect package.

When you are asked why you are crying, you will manufacture a self-deprecating smile and say “Oh, it’s just this film or this book or this show or this song. It always does this to me. It’s just so well directed or written or played”. You will be believed because these are acceptable reasons to cry and you will not be questioned further, because you are not really sad and you have nothing to explain.

When you cry in a silent room with no screen and no pages, you will hurl words around and they will crash and splinter and shatter against the high stone walls of judgement you built inside and around yourself. You will tell yourself that the ache in your bones and the ache in your mind are not reason enough, that your fear is not justified, that the shuddering steps you take when your body is not strong enough to simply put one foot in front of the other are not enough to cause this frustration.

You are not sad because you have lost something. You are not sad because time has passed and been taken from you. You are not sad. You are not sad. You will tell yourself over and over again that you do not have the right to be sad and you will step out of your silent room and your memories and your wasted wishes and your sentences that run on too long because you have never managed to create a structure for the things that you do not believe you are allowed to feel.

There will be times when you tell yourself that your tears belong to something transitory and shallow because this will be easier to accept. You will learn to avoid silent rooms and lean against walls and never look up. You will split yourself in two. When you speak of honest experience you will speak with the voice of an observer, all analysis and avoidance and projection and empathy, but when you talk of fictional worlds you will allow your voice to crack and fall to a whisper and your breath to catch in your throat.
There Will Be Times When You Tell Yourself
This is copyrighted work and is not
to be published or posted, or in any
way altered or edited by anyone, online
or offline, in any way without permission.





You will be believed because these are acceptable
reasons to cry and you will not be questioned further,
because you are not really sad and you have nothing
to explain...







DecemberBliss.com Creative writing blog

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Nature Draws Lines by RockstarVanity
Nature Draws Lines
All Rights Reserved 02 by RockStock

:bulletred: THIS IS A COPYRIGHTED IMAGE :bulletred:
It is not to be used by anyone, for anything, anywhere, in any form, online
or offline, personally or commercially, digitally or physically, without my
permission.  If you wish to license any of my work for commercial or
personal use, please contact me directly at Tanya@RockstarVanity.com

I don't mind favs without comments :aww:




More beachy textures and transitions on my blog.





:camera: :heart: :star:
Google+ . Twitter . Facebook . Tumblr
Resources . RockstarVanity.com . Blog
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deviantID

RockstarVanity's Profile Picture
RockstarVanity
Tanya
United Kingdom

We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.
- Anais Nin

MY DEVIANT LIFE
I've been on dA since 2005 and a senior member since 2007. I've been a Community Volunteer twice, first looking after Photography > Horror & Macabre (2008-2010) and more recently Photography > Darkroom (2012-2013). I'm not here very often these days, although I do still submit art occasionally, so here's a list of other places on the net where you can find me and my stuff...

PHOTOGRAPHY
:bulletblack: Official website at RockstarVanity.com
:bulletblack: Photography blog at The RockstarVanity Universe
:bulletblack: Google+ (Tanya Simpson)
:bulletblack: Facebook (RockstarVanity)
:bulletblack: Photography Twitter (RockstarVanity)
:bulletblack: Tumblr (RockstarVanity)

CREATIVE WRITING
:bulletblack: Creative writing blog at DecemberBliss.com

PERSONAL
:bulletblack: Blog about living with M.E. at Momentary Solutions
:bulletblack: Personal Twitter (DecemberBliss)
:bulletblack: Personal Tumblr (missdecemberbliss)
:bulletblack: Instagram (decemberbliss)

FOR YOU
:bulletblack: Tutorials + Resources @ RockStock
:bulletblack: Photo Wallpapers
:bulletblack: Graphical Wallpapers
I feel like I should say something here because I'm hardly ever on dA these days and I don't want to be one of those people who just vanishes without a word. I'm not like OMGLEAVINGFOREVER or anything that dramatic. It's just that other things in my life take up more time and energy so I haven't found myself frequenting these parts so much. I've been on dA for over 9 years and have gone through periods of spending hours every day here and periods of not being here at all. It's just the way things go for me.

I've added a list of links to all the other places me and my work can be found online in my deviantID, so if you'd like to keep in touch those are good places to start. I don't post my personal Facebook anywhere ever and all the stuff I have listed as photography links are specifically photography-related and not really social. My personal Twitter or Tumblr, or Instagram, are good places to find me-being-me, albeit under a different name.

As for my activity on dA, I've disabled everything in my message centre except for the things that can't be disabled. I'm in the process of arranging to hand the groups I admin over to other people. I may still post photography or writing here from time to time, but probably not that much to be honest. I've left my gallery, journal and prints all as they are cause I have no reason to delete or remove anything at this point. If you really want to get hold of me via dA and don't have any other way to contact me, send a note but don't expect a timely reply. My stock account still exists, although I pretty much never log in to it.

As far as life-stuff goes, things are pretty interesting at the moment and are definitely keeping me busy. My husband and I are running an IT business, I'm managing social media and online presence for a local art performance charity and as of February 2015 I'll be working towards a BSc (Hons) in Forensic Psychology. I still take photos, although my health mostly prevents the kind of shoots I used to do, and I still write. I can't imagine that I'll ever stop doing these things.

Much love to everyone on dA who has inspired me, supported me and encouraged me. There will always be a special place in my heart for this site and the people who have made it what it is over the years. It is a truly unique community and an amazing resource. If you have just found your way here, I hope you find what you're looking for.

Don't be a stranger.

:heart:

Deviousness Award

Deviousness Award
`RockstarVanity's gallery is filled with striking, vibrant photography and endless inspiration. Throughout her time as a Community Volunteer, Tanya promoted positivity whilst providing constructive feedback and suggestions from the community. Tanya always goes above and beyond to provide helpful resources and tutorials, not just encouraging you to improve your creativity, but to improve your citizenship within our community too. If you are ever in need of motivation or a friendly nudge of encouragement, `RockstarVanity should be your first deviant to visit. Congratulations, Tanya!
-awarded March 2012

Comments


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:iconasika-aida:
Asika-Aida Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Student General Artist
thanks for the llama *0*
Reply
:iconbed-time:
bed-time Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist
thanks for the llama :D
Reply
:iconscrano:
ScraNo Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014
thanks for Llama...an important part of life !

Bunny Emoji-36 (Flower) [V2] Butterfly Pink - F2U! 
Reply
:iconanimechild92:
animechild92 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the llama :3
Reply
:iconlegendofspyroxcynder:
are you a Rockstar Games :iconrockstargamesplz: fan? your username has something connected to it :p (unless you were playing with words for your username and picked that one :p)
Reply
:iconrockstarvanity:
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014
Haha, no, RockstarVanity has nothing at all to do with Rockstar Games :aww:
I just liked how the words looked and sounded together when I came up with it forever ago. It was something I was using before I was on dA and just kinda stuck.
Reply
:iconbabou-shka:
Babou-Shka Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
Thanks for the llama :iconllamadanceplz:
Reply
:iconchillhyoh:
ChillhYoh Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Thank you for the llama ^^
Reply
:iconhoopapotimus:
hoopapotimus Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the lama!
Reply
:iconserahfarron013:
serahfarron013 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
thanks for the llama! Huggle! 
Reply
:iconsami53:
sami53 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
thank you for the llama
Reply
:iconunicornlover10:
Unicornlover10 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Ahhhh.....Thanks for the llama!
Reply
:iconandaelentari:
Andaelentari Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for watching! :hug:
Reply
:iconphilphilos:
philphilos Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the llama badge ^_^
Reply
:iconswaptrick:
Swaptrick Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014
TY for the badge :) great work on this page too :)
Reply
:iconxaviertheadventurer:
XavierTheAdventurer Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the llama :squee: 
Reply
:iconfability:
Fability Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you very much for the llama Meow :3 
Reply
:iconshadowwolfsconsort:
ShadowWolfsConsort Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the llama! :D
Reply
:iconbookfreak25:
Bookfreak25 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014
Thanks for the Llama :) (Smile) 
Reply
:icondarkomf1:
Darkomf1 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014
tx for the Llama! M:)
Reply
:iconadigitalsm1ley:
ADIGITALSM1LEY Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the Lama badge! :D
Reply
:iconinvisigoth88:
invisigoth88 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks very much for the watch! :rose:
Reply
:iconrobson666:
robson666 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist
thank you for the llama
Reply
:iconmylittlebluesky:
mylittlebluesky Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks so much for the watch Tanya! :hug:
Reply
:iconwallacesc:
WallaceSC Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Student Photographer
thank you
Reply
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